Ungarnished Reality

Goodbye, old house!

One of the downsides to building our new home was the fact that the existing house on the property would have to be razed and the old foundation removed. In principle, the decision was not difficult to make: we loved the piece of land and the neighborhood, but the house simply didn't meet our needs. Rather than spend a fortune renovating a 50 year old structure (with a cracked foundation), we felt it was best that we build something that would be worth the investment in time and money. The unfortunate reality of the decision, though, was that it meant having to tear down Jeff's childhood home. The months and months of choosing a builder; securing financing; designing the floorplan; obtaining the proper permits; selecting everything from light fixtures, flooring, placement of outlets, doorknobs, and bath fixtures, sort of distracted us from the "physical" aspects of the process, viz. demolition and actual construction. We got the final permit from the town on a Thursday, and the next day we got a call from the builder saying they would be there on Monday to start the process of tearing down the house. That's when I think it really hit Jeff, and the poor guy had a pit in his stomach all weekend. I wouldn't say he was depressed, rather, I think he was processing the prospect of having to say goodbye to a house in which a lot of memories were created. So, before the demolition trucks rumbled up the street, Jeff and I went together to say "goodbye" to the little house (and to verify that everything of value had been removed). After we said our farewell, we stepped out to witness a couple of neighbors scurrying across the street to find out the scoop and to wish us well . It was like something out of "Desperate Housewives". Most of the neighbors with whom we spoke throughout the process have know Jeff for almost forty years, and they're thrilled he's moving back to the 'hood.

On Monday morning, I met with the demo team and they told me that they needed to do a lot of prep work that day and that the actual demo of the house would begin Tuesday morning. I was psyched because it coincided with my day off! I showed up ten minutes before the work crew did (easy to do since we only live one street over from the property) and started taking photos and video of the demo in the bitter freezing cold. I won't share all of them here, but here's what the house looked like as the sun was coming up on its last day:

  

The first blow:

  

Going:

  

Going:

  

Gone:

  

It was one of the most fascinating things I have ever witnessed. I couldn't believe that a house that had withstood decades of blizzards, hurricanes, rain, heat, and bitter cold came down with not much of a fight in less than an hour. I was feeling maudlin, moreso for Jeff, who didn't want to be anywhere near the house on the day of the demo.

We also had to remove the giant maple tree in front of the house, about which we were a little disappointed, so we had the tree removal people take out some trees on the property line while they were at it. Here's what it looks like today:

  

The next step is prepare the site for the laying of the new foundation and new utility pipes. Let's hope we don't get many more snow storms like the one we got the other day. The new house is due to be delivered in April!
 

The answer to life, the universe, and everything...

My parents always made a big deal out of our birthdays when we were children. On the eve of our birthday, while we slept, the walls of the dining room were festooned with crepe paper, balloons were hung from the light fixtures, and presents were laid out on a decorative tablecloth. Waking up on my birthday as a child was exciting and magical and I loved how special I felt even before I had to chance to change out of my pajamas. It was like a mini-Christmas. I enjoyed my birthday mornings with my family gathered 'round much more than the requisite cake and ice cream with parlor games party I had in the afternoon with my neighborhood friends. My parents always made us feel loved and appreciated every day of the year, but it was still nice to have our own special day that belonged only to us. I'm thrilled that my older brother continued the tradition with his own sons. It's funny how I don't remember many of the gifts I received, but I can vividly remember the decorations a third of a century later. Those of you who know me well know that I am not a materialistic person. Having nice things is, well, nice, but I'm more a person of substance. I don't need a $2,000 watch or a $50,000 automobile to make me feel like a "somebody", and I actually pity those that do. I always believed that those that required material objects to feel good about themselves either have a defect in their soul, or have a really small penis (and occasionally, both).

Bring back Seanlandia

 

I don't know about you, but I miss Seanlandia. I've never really been crazy about the name of this blog, so a change may be a-coming in the next week. I miss writing but I've been unmotivated due to the fact that my past schoolwork and present job involve voluminous writing! Now, I've got so many personal things bottled up, I need a place to act as a repository for my thoughts and feelings. Plus, it'll serve as a great time saver for my friends so we can enjoy each others' company without having to constantly catch up on things.

Is it time to bring back Seanlandia?

So happy together

     

On vacation!

Will be back soon with plenty of long overdue updates!!!

All wired up

Anyone who's ever had the immense pleasure of sharing a bed/hotel room/cabin/tent with me knows that I now and then occasionally frequently often almost always snore fiercely enough to rock the heavens. My snoring can get so loud sometimes that it actually wakes ME up. Seriously, I'm surprised we don't have stress fractures in our bedroom windows. If it weren't for the advent of ear plugs, I'd probably be single. I've always just chalked it up to the extra 10-20 lbs I've been carrying around these past few years. I have one of those weird bodies that accumulates excess body fat in limited areas (in my case, my abdomen, face and neck) while the rest of me remains lean and mean. I figured that the fat was constricting my airway while lying supine.

 

Standard precautions

Were you ever so mesmerized by something someone was doing in front of you that you catch yourself staring at them in an odd mixture of incredulity, fascination, and revulsion? You know, like pulling up along some guy at a red light and notice him digging for treasure with his index finger thinking, "Nah, he can't be doin' what I think he's doin'?" That was me this morning, while I was having my blood drawn at the doctor's office. The woman (RN/LPN/MA/receptionist/cleaning lady?????- she wasn't wearing any ID) proceeded with the phlebotomy without washing her hands and donning any protective barrier(viz. gloves).

After she withdrew three tubes, she placed a clean 2x2 gauze on the puncture site. After I applied pressure for about 30 seconds, she said that I could throw it in the container down by my left foot, but to be careful not to put my hand in it. I looked down, and there by my bare leg was the sharps container, 3/4 full with NO TOP! I threw my bloody gauze on top of the heap of exposed hazardous waste. My clinical instructors would have had a litter of kittens if they bore witness to what I had seen. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I just know that somewhere down the line, there will be a needle stick injury, and it'll probably be a kid. Same with the urine sample: no instructions, so I did it the same way that I instruct my patients to do it. I returned to the room with my specimen and asked her where I should place the cup and she replied, "Oh, just give it to me," and took it with her bare hands. Perhaps I'm overreacting, but unless you're my partner, I don't touch anything that's wet, warm, or sticky that didn't come out of me. In addition to the obvious risks, I wear gloves when I carry lab specimens and when I change beds. I also clean my hands before and afterwards. I just thought it was so gross.

I hope I'm not becoming mysophobic!

A tale of three hospitals

In the past week, I have been in three hospitals: twice as a prospective employee, and once as a concerned family member.

My mom is in the hospital, and nobody knows for sure what's wrong with her. Seriously, she's had at least eight doctors come by and see her since Friday. She was having trouble breathing for the past two weeks (she has COPD), not that it stopped her from going to Foxwoods last week to celebrate her birthday, mind you. She said that as long as she stayed at the same machine, "she was fine" and only experienced dizziness and dyspnea while walking around. Keep in mind, this is the same woman who didn't leave bingo when she was experiencing TIA's a few months back. She used to complain that she hated how Nana (her late mother) would never call and ask for help for a health-related issue until the situation was such that it warranted a trip to the emergency room. My mother is slowly turning into Nana.

Dream come true

I 'm a nurse!!!!!!

 

When my NCLEX-RN exam ended last Tuesday, I was not confident that I had passed. I didn't feel as though I had failed, but I didn't walk out of the test center filled with eager anticipation to see the test results, either. Actually, I've suffered from nausea and insomnia these past two days just being worried sick over it. Most of that is due to the nature of the exam. The NCLEX exam utilizes Computerized Adaptive Technology, which basically means that the questions you're given are based on how well you answer the preceding question. Get a question right, and the next question is a little harder. Get that one right and the next one is more difficult still. Get one wrong, and the questions get a little easier. My test shut off at 75 questions (the minimum), which meant that I answered enough difficult questions that the Board didn't feel it necessary to continue with the exam; or that I answered so many incorrectly, that the Board didn't feel it worth the time to continue with the exam.

Seriously, both prospects have received equal billing in my mind for the past 48 hours.

But that's over now!!

What was only a dream a few years ago is now a hard-won reality. It was a long road, involving lots of discipline, sacrifice, and hard work. It was all worth it, and I wouldn't change a thing. Going through the process felt like traversing a narrow, dark tunnel. I had to keep my eyes forward and alert at all times, lest I would have tripped and injured myself. If I let my fear take hold of me, I would have felt the tunnel walls closing in on me in a fit of claustrophobia. Now, I stand outside the opening with my face toward the sun (protected by 30 spf sunblock, of course).

Sometimes it felt like one of those dreams in which you're running down a corridor, and the corridor continually stretches out in front of you (like an optical illusion) so it feels like you're stuck running in place, no matter how much effort you exert.

I couldn't have done it without the love and support of my partner, Jeff. I hope he knows that when the time comes to follow his true calling, I will have his back.

Thank you to all of my friends for being so patient with me as I basically disappeared off the face of the Earth for a year and a half.

Oh my God, I get to go on vacations again! and read books for pleasure! and blog! and make money! and...

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

This is how I feel today. I'm sure I won't sleep a wink tonight. I don't feel ready for the exam, but ready or not, here it comes. Hopefully, in a few days, I'll have a couple of more letters after my name!!